Conflict (process)

A conflict is a situation in which unacceptable differences in interests, expectations, values, or opinions occur between individuals, or between or in groups. Conflicts happen when people do not see eye to eye or agree on something important.

Understanding conflicts helps us know why people sometimes argue or disagree. It is important to learn how to handle conflicts in a good way, so that everyone can feel heard and respected.

Conflicts can happen in families, schools, or even between countries. Learning about conflicts helps us find peaceful solutions and makes our world a better place for everyone.

Definitions

Conflicts happen when people or groups have different ideas, needs, or goals that don't match up. This can lead to disagreements or frustration because what one person wants might not be what another person wants.

Conflicts can also happen when people feel that their goals or values are being blocked by someone else. These situations create tension and can make it hard for everyone to work together peacefully.

Classification

Conflicts happen when people or groups have different ideas, goals, or values that they can't agree on. These disagreements can occur within a single group, between two people, or even inside one person’s own thoughts.

There are different kinds of conflicts. Sometimes people argue about what to do about a problem, which can actually help them think more deeply and make better decisions. Other times, people may dislike each other, which can make working together harder and create negative feelings. Conflicts can also happen between whole groups, like countries or communities, especially when they have different cultures or histories.

Development

Conflicts don't just happen and end quickly—they can grow and change over time. Sometimes, they can become very intense and hard to control.

Escalation

When a conflict gets worse, it is called escalation. There are different ways to think about how conflicts can grow worse, like models made by people such as Friedrich Glasl, Michael S. Lund, and Oliver Ramsbotham. When one person starts making a conflict worse, it often follows a pattern: they might start with requests, then make demands, say angry things, make threats, harass others, and even abuse them. Some people think these models are too simple because real conflicts don't always follow exact steps.

Requests, demands, angry remarks, threats, harassment, abuse, Friedrich Glasl's model of conflict escalation, hourglass model, Oliver Ramsbotham

Behavior

When people face disagreements or conflicts, they can react in different ways. Some might try to avoid the problem, while others might face it head-on. Others still might give in to the other person's wishes or try to find a middle ground that works for everyone.

In conflicts between individuals, strong feelings like anger or fear can make it hard to solve the problem. People might also change how they see the other person or the situation, which can make things worse. Sometimes, groups can have even bigger conflicts because of how members of the group act together. Feelings like envy, mistrust, or superiority can make group conflicts more intense.

Factors

When people have disagreements, they often want to solve them quickly. But sometimes, feelings and other issues can make it hard to control the conflict, leading it to get worse. This is called conflict escalation, where the disagreement becomes more intense and people use stronger ways to argue.

As conflicts grow, people often become more sure about their own views and less open to others. They focus only on information that supports what they already believe and ignore information that doesn’t. This makes it harder to find a solution. People also may feel they need to stick to their position to avoid looking wrong, even if they know they might be mistaken.

During conflicts, how people see the situation and each other can be wrong. They might think the other side is more unfriendly or different from them than they really are. This misunderstanding can make the conflict even harder to solve. Sometimes, people blame the other person’s character for the problem instead of looking at what might be causing the issue, which makes things worse.

At first, people use gentle ways to solve conflicts, like talking and asking for help. But if these don’t work, they may start using stronger methods, like making demands or even threats. Unfortunately, using strong tactics can often make the conflict worse instead of better. When people feel angry or upset during a conflict, it can be hard to stay calm, and this anger can spread to others, making the conflict even harder to resolve.

Styles

Thomas and Kilmann describe five common ways people handle conflicts:

When resources are limited, they can be shared based on past effort, equal shares, power, or need. The best way to solve a conflict is often to work together to find a solution that helps everyone, called consensus. But when people’s interests don’t change, other methods may be needed. Sometimes, compromise or a decision made by a neutral person, like a parent or teacher, can help. Voting or a judge’s judgment can also settle things, favoring the majority or the side that follows the rules. One side might also give in to solve the problem, though this is less likely if the conflict has gotten worse.

Ramsbotham says conflicts go through five stages, each with its own way to handle them. Early stages focus on changing the conflict, while later stages aim to settle or contain it.

Resolution

When people or groups have differences that lead to conflict, resolving these conflicts is very important. Finding ways to understand each other and find solutions that work for everyone helps to bring peace and cooperation. Talking things out, listening to each other, and finding common goals are key steps in resolving conflicts. This process can help people move forward together instead of staying stuck in disagreement.

Mediation

Main article: Mediation

When people in a group disagree, it can make things harder for everyone. One way to help solve these problems is through mediation. A mediator is someone who is not part of the disagreement but helps the people involved talk and find a solution together. Mediators guide the conversation and help both sides understand each other better.

Mediation works best when people still want to work together and the disagreement isn’t too intense. It helps people share their thoughts and feelings without feeling ashamed. Mediators can also help find fair solutions, like sharing tasks in a way that works for everyone. There are different ways to mediate, such as asking questions, letting both sides talk, or having open discussions to find the best answer.

Institutionalization

When conflicts are handed over to an institution to solve, this is called institutionalization. However, this can limit the freedom of the people involved because decisions are made by others who are not part of the conflict. The feelings and facts of the conflict are handled separately, following rules that everyone agrees on.

Conflicts can be handled in different ways. A feud is a type of conflict with some rules, like having a good reason and announcing it, but the people involved solve it themselves, and friends often help, which can lead to more conflicts.

The justice system is a way countries handle conflicts. It has different processes for criminal procedures and civil procedures when people have legal claims to settle.

Sometimes, when conflicts between countries or groups get very serious, the military is used. This can cause a lot of damage, so it is only used as a last option. Two old books that talk about this are The Art of War by Sunzi and On War by Carl von Clausewitz.

When parents decide to separate, it can be a conflict too. If there are children, sometimes counseling or child protective services help.

Conflicts can also happen between workers in a company, which can cost the company money. There are ways to learn how to handle these, like On-the-job training and Coaching.